A Letter to Cedarville: Ministering to Students with Same-Sex Attraction

This article is written in collaboration with a Cedarville Alumni, who has battled with same-sex attraction throughout his time attending Cedarville University, and the founder of the Encourager, who helped edit and review this article. These are the alumni’s thoughts on how the University has failed to support students with similar struggles as him, and what the Institution and the Student Body alike can do about this.

We’re not interested in creating frivolous controversy, but to bring attention to the subject matter at hand. Whether you’re a student, a parent, a professor, a trustee, or anyone else reading this, we encourage you to foster discussion in how we as Followers of Christ can be better equipped in this area.

Students and Staff of Cedarville University,

While I recently graduated from Cedarville, I am actively living and working in the area, keeping in touch with many of my friends still attending. During these visits, I continue to see and hear hurt from students who struggle with same-sex attraction. This stems from various factors, ranging from the lack of available resources, unawareness of resources that exist, lack of acknowledgement of students with this struggle, or a lack of intentionality in handling this issue.

This isn’t a matter of whether or not Christians at Cedarville have handled this issue well. I know by experience that Cedarville struggles to effectively minister to this population on our own campus. I know this because I’ve been on the receiving end of that ministry. Same-sex attraction is something that I have struggled with myself.

My stance on marriage remains Biblical, that God designed it exclusively between one man and one woman. Throughout my battle against sin, I have never once acted on these desires, but this has not been without hardships. I have struggled with lustful thoughts towards men. I have been called the f-slur to my face. I’ve had people question my salvation simply because my sin struggle was different than theirs. I’ve heard students gossip about me behind my back because of my sin struggle. I’ve seen people become uncomfortable around me largely due to my sexuality. I’ve seen my friends abandon their faith. I cannot help but think, “That could have been me apart from God’s grace.” I’ve seen firsthand how much of an impact this can have on someone’s life.

Knowing that there are hundreds of students who are struggling with these same burdens, I cannot help but speak on their behalf. I write on these things both as a Christian who always has and continues to stand for Biblical marriage, and as someone who understands firsthand what it’s like to wrestle with this sin. I’ve seen too many abandon their beliefs on this issue, with many going so far as to leave the church altogether.

My desire is not to slander the university. I may speak harshly at points on failures that I have seen, but I am speaking from a spirit of fellowship and common purpose. Cedarville is an amazing university overall, and I’m sure that there are plenty that are seeking a means to support and lift up students with this particular struggle. If that were not so, I would not have completed my undergraduate and graduate degree there. That being said, it is still a human institution and, as such, it is prone to imperfection. One area I have seen many faults in is how the university – staff and students alike – ministers to members of the LGBTQA+ community.

Why address this sin in particular?

In our post-Christian culture, homosexuality and related issues are elevated and praised. Our culture has dedicated an entire month to celebrate it. Students who are properly engaging the culture when they graduate will see this topic come up, and they need to be prepared for it.

We have already seen how treating an individual sin struggle can have a positive impact across campus, even for students who do not struggle with that particular sin. Cedarville University already does an excellent job in fostering accountability groups for those who struggle with lust, why not apply this to other areas? Sin needs to be brought to the light in a loving, yet truthful manner in order to be dealt with properly (Ephesians 5:1–14), and by extension, doing so for what secular culture celebrates is a necessity.

I’ve seen amazing benefits that have come from these discussions. When Sam Allberry last did a late night panel on same sex attraction, I spent several hours that week meeting with several of my peers. I’ve seen my peers give their life to Christ through these discussions. Since then, in my own meetings with students who struggle with same sex attraction, I have continued to see positive growth in people’s views on same sex attraction, as well as growth in other areas of life as well.

This is not constrained just to those struggling with same sex attraction. As I have also met with straight people and been able to guide them in interacting with the LGBTQA+ community, I have seen growth in peace and confidence in addressing a complex and tense conversation that exists within our world. Clearly, addressing these issues has been beneficial.

How many people at Cedarville does this issue impact?

To get a better understanding of how many people we need to minister to in this region, I did some campus polling. On a Cedarville (though not affiliated) Instagram page with a following of 500+ and having reached more, I obtained a sample size of nearly 50 students. From this polling, I concluded that roughly one out of every seven students struggle with same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria. Applying this to the population of ~5,000 students at Cedarville would indicate that ~700 students on campus struggle with homosexuality. Keep in mind, however, that not only was this poll taken in 2022, but response bias may also skew the data.

These data results aren’t flawless, but this number is more than reasonable. Consider the national average, where 28% of Gen Z adults identify as part of the LGBTQA+ community. If this percentage were applied to the student body population, this more than doubles in comparison to my own results, but given the target demographic of Cedarville students primarily being from Christian homes and self-proclaimed Christians themselves, I’m satisfied with my conclusion.

In a culture where the church has declined and secularism has been dominant for decades, we should only expect the number to climb. Keep in mind that the vast majority of students who struggle with same sex attraction or gender dysphoria are closeted about this. Even among the few who are not closeted, many are afraid that approaching staff and faculty about this topic may put them or others at risk of being looked down upon at best and kicked out of CU at worst.

To add to this, many people who are part of this community prefer to be closeted, some emphasizing their identities in Christ, and others in fear of being outed or kicked out if they came forward with their struggles. This does not mean, however, that these struggles should be ignored. When we attempt to hide our weaknesses without support from fellow believers, the enemies of God will inevitably use those weaknesses against us (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). How much more does this apply to a group that does not feel safe sharing their weaknesses?

Regardless of the exact number of students who battle with same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria, there is a growing need. This isn’t a lost cause either. Not all of them are guaranteed to leave the faith. From my experience with my friends who struggle with same-sex attraction or gender dysphoria at Cedarville, roughly half of them left the faith, and half of them held on to Christ. Yet, even for those who remain faithful, they do so despite how they are treated at Cedarville, rather than because of how they are encouraged at Cedarville. This is an issue that the Institution and the Student Body alike must address together.

Fulfilling The Great Commission

As Christians, we are called to uphold the Great Commission. It is our duty as Followers of Christ to go into the world, making disciples of all nations, starting locally, to neighboring cities, and so forth to the ends of the earth (Matthew 28:18–20; Acts 1:8). And starting locally is exactly what I’m challenging Cedarville to continue doing here. We have an unreached group of students on our own campus that we have failed to do diligence in ministering to, and I want to see that changed. This is not explicitly the Institution’s fault, nor is it explicitly the Student Body’s fault, and pointing fingers at any individuals here will not heal the broken hearts and the ongoing battle against sin. It is the responsibility for all of us as the Church, the body of believers, to bring healing to this issue with the Holy Spirit, who empowers us with the authority to do so.

To claim that we don’t need to take action or that others will fall away on their own anyways undermines our very duty in fulfilling the Great Commission, which by extension goes against what the Institution instills on our campus. Our duty isn’t to decide who does or doesn’t believe, it is to make disciples and encourage the faith of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Cedarville University is already passionate about fulfilling the Great Commission internationally and nationally with mission trips and church plants, and I’d like to see that passion continue to grow locally in the very heartbeat of campus culture. How can we minister to the world if we overlook our own campus?

What can we do?

It’s not a matter of whether or not students with these struggles will seek help, it’s a matter of where they seek help from. Would it be better for the church (and by extension, Cedarville University and the Student Body), or for secular culture to be this source of help?

Anyone can point out campus issues if they’re looking thoroughly enough, but this won’t fix anything on its own. Cedarville University as an academic institution doesn’t and shouldn’t bear the same responsibilities as the Church in ministry and outreach. Nevertheless, there are a variety of possibilities that the Institution and the Student Body alike can explore as a body of believers. This prepares all of us to reinforce the Church for addressing these issues in our culture, and this starts in our own campus community.

Foster discussions to equip believers.

The first one that comes to my mind is simply to have more chapels and panel discussions that address these topics. I can think of a handful of people who were only at Cedarville for three semesters before falling away and, by extension, leaving the church as well as the university. Additionally, since the chapel in 2020 was canceled due to Covid and was never rescheduled, several more that I have mentioned did not see any chapel or event dealing with these topics. I am not saying we need Sam Allberry, Rosaria Butterfield, or Christopher Yuan to speak on this issue every semester. What I am saying is that having someone speak on this issue in chapel or having a panel on a Friday night could work wonders for those who struggle to feel like they have a space to talk about this topic. Furthermore, for students that have never struggled with these topics, such an event or chapel can foster discussion between students and their peers, professors, and pastors, which by extension could better equip believers to engage in these conversations and be better ministers of Christ for those with this struggle.

Provide more information on this topic.

Another small step would be to provide some freely available (and publicly known about) pamphlets that students can take that address various questions they may have about this topic. This would only cost the price of printing and a few hours of writing and letting students know about it, but this small step could change a student’s life. I’m more than willing to write such an informational pamphlet for free. This could shape hundreds of lives to be better equipped to engage the culture on a sensitive topic in a biblical manner.

(Note from the CE Founder: We’re planning on producing said informational content for widespread access. Stay tuned.)

Spread awareness of existing resources that are available.

We already have Biblically-trained counselors who have specialized training in addressing topics on homosexuality and gender dysphoria. Cedarville’s Counseling Services have open drop-in times where students can freely visit and seek the help they need. Even the campus RDs are equipped to help in this area, being trained to handle a plethora of sin struggles. But many students aren’t aware of the resources that already exist. We ought to encourage students with this struggle that they are not alone in this, and there are people here that can help them.

Dedicated Accountability Groups.

Another way I could see the Church or the University alike help struggling students is by implementing accountability groups. Some may have concerns about gathering gay students together in groups, and this doesn’t come without risks. Gathering a group of people struggling with the same weaknesses may create unnecessary temptation, causing more harm than help. However, if you can gather one group of trained and tested students and equip them with further training and accountability (possibly even with help from a biblically-trained counselor or church leader), then students would be better equipped to make a difference in their peers’ lives. Much of the support for students comes from peers already, so if Cedarville could find a way to encourage that, then students could feel support from the university without as much of a burden being placed directly upon the university.

Most of these solutions are directed more towards Cedarville University as the Institution to consider implementing. However, this is first and foremost a campus heart issue. These solutions are merely extensions of Followers of Christ lifting one another up to overcome their struggles. This starts with all of us.

What should we avoid?

Many people can be sincere in their intentions, but many can sincerely handle these issues terribly, harming our ministry rather than helping it. I have a few simple, small ways anyone can encourage people in our own lives who are struggling with same sex attraction and gender dysphoria.

Don’t jump to unnecessary conclusions.

One specific assumption I’ve seen is that if a man comes out to another man as gay, then the man confiding in the other automatically has a crush on him. Jumping to conclusions is far from helpful. Someone telling you they struggle with same sex attraction may mean anything from “I found a person of the same gender attractive once” to “I want you to meet my partner and I might transition soon.” Ask them questions about what they mean, why they want you to know, and, if they are in distress, offer them friendship, a listening ear, and compassion.

Don’t out people without their permission.

For myself, I’m comfortable with others “outing” me if they are trying to encourage someone who also struggles with same sex attraction. But in most cases, people who struggle with this particular issue don’t want this struggle aired out in public for the same reasons that a person struggling with lust wouldn’t want their issues aired out. Most people, especially in Christian circles, prefer to be the person who can tell others about their struggle.

Don’t treat their struggle as their identity.

Your friend does not stop having difficult classes, interesting hobbies, and friends when they come out. Be invested in them as fellow image-bearers, not as your personal projects. Be interested in their interests. Be their friends. Share highlights, and endure trials. Live life with them. You wouldn’t want someone to treat your sin struggle as your identity, so don’t treat their struggle as theirs.

Our goal is to bring souls to Christ, not to “fix” others ourselves.

Remember the goal is not to turn gay people straight. Too often, I have seen straight people assume that someone who is LGBTQA+ (especially if they have a traditional view on marriage and gender) is just going through a phase. There are some who do return to affections as God designed, and there are some who will carry this struggle all their life. Whatever the case might be, our goal is not to see gay people become straight, but for people to be dead in their sins to become alive together in Christ Jesus.

A Call to Action

It is up to all of us as a body of believers to make an active difference wherever we are, especially here at Cedarville, where the expectation is to live for Christ in all aspects of life. I urge that some sort of action should be taken, large or small. I know I have been harsh at points, and am aware of my biases on this topic. I am sure that in my research, potential concerns, and potential solutions there are faults to some extent. I do not claim to be a subject matter expert on homosexuality, gender dysphoria, and related topics. Still, I have seen firsthand a hurt in many of my friends that cannot be ignored, and to neglect what my eyes have seen and my ears have heard would go against everything it means to be a Follower of Christ. So I felt compelled to share what I do know and have seen with you.

My mission to help the unreached has not ended here with this article. I continue to be a part of helping the queer community at Cedarville. Since graduating, I have met with several people in and around the LGBTQA+ community. I have talked to people about everything from “My brother is bisexual. How can I encourage him?” to “Can I be a Christian while in a gay relationship?”. I have seen people place their faith in Jesus, growing in their faith to the point where they now help me in reaching this community.

To those of you reading this article and need someone to reach out to, or this is a topic you’d like to learn more about, there is contact information is available at the end of this article. I live near campus, regularly meeting with others who are dealing with this struggle, and would be happy to meet with you.

I continue to pray that the Institution would be guided by the Holy Spirit in wisdom and discernment as they lead this university. In the meantime, I will continue my duty in fulfillment of the Great Commission.

Through Faith, In Love, Into Hope.

Additional Resources

• Allberry, Sam. Is God Anti-Gay?
• Allbery, Sam. What God has to say about Our Bodies.
• Butterfield, Rosaria. Secrets of an Unlikely Convert.
• Krieg, Matt and Laurie. An Impossible Marriage.
• Perry, Jackie Hill. Gay Girl, Good God.
• Yuan, Christopher. Holy Sexuality and the Gospel.
• Statement of Faith | The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender

Contacts:

If you or someone you know is wrestling with this in your life, this should be a conversation you should be engaging with the elders and pastors of your local church. Again, this is an issue to be addressed primarily by the church. However, there are other resources as well. We highly recommend exploring Cedarville University’s Counseling Services, where you can find a Biblical basis for fostering spiritual growth by professionally trained experts on these issues. We also have several mediums for you to Contact Us, where you can contact the writer of this article as well.